EDITORIAL : THE NEW STRAITS TIMES, MALAYSIA

 

 

Happy Fathers Day

TODAY, good fathers around the world will be feted by their families for their contribution to good parenting and a happy family life. Some of them are married, some are divorced, some are single, some are actually grandfathers; some are biologically related to their families and some are not. But what they will all most likely have in common with all the men who will be celebrating Fathers Day today is that they are loved. They will be feted with hugs and kisses (or perhaps respectful bows in conservative cultures), with humble yet lovingly home-cooked meals, or lavish restaurant spreads, or picnics, and special attempts by the whole family to get together for this special day.

But, although in paternalistic societies fathers are seen as the leader of the household, mostly, fathers don't get nearly as much accolades for parenting as do mothers. Even in this 21st century, gender stereotypes still exist. If one were to mention the adage "The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world" (originally from the poem by William Ross Wallace), the hand that would immediately come to mind is that of the mother. And, in the old days, like when Wallace wrote the poem, that was true. In the old days, when fathers were the only ones who worked, it was excusable for them to be absent from the home, relegating the responsibility of bringing up the children to the mother. But these days, with mothers working as many hours as fathers and pitching in with the income, it no longer becomes tenable for fathers not to pitch in with the housework and child-rearing.

Fathers are very important to the family, in taking the lead in setting the example of a good family life that will be referenced by their children in the future. Fathers have to set a good example for their sons to be good, faithful husbands; and for their daughters to know that there are good men in the world so that little girls don't have to grow up thinking that they have to be prostitutes to have a happy married life.

And if one were to compare the sacrifices that some single fathers have had to make in order to bring up their children well, it would be obvious to all that there is very little difference between that and what single mothers have had to do. And that is why some men and women are feted on Fathers Day and Mothers Day, and some aren't. Fathers, like mothers, are "parents" because they care for their children. Otherwise, they're just "people".

Fathers Day presents have to be earned. To all good fathers out there, Happy Fathers Day. With love.